Saturday, June 6, 2009

When someone you know is getting married...'s possible that you're not invited. Live with it.

Ah, one of the hallmarks of a wedding is that everyone who is not the bride or groom thinks it's about them. I remember when I got engaged and told my next-door neighbors (loud, obnoxious people whom I did not like), they responded with, "Make sure you invite us!"

Um, no.

If you know someone is about to say "I do," wish them well, and then be quiet. You need say nothing more.

Yes, weddings are fun. Or can be, you know, depending. Yes, there's food, booze, and dancing.

But you may not be invited for a host of reasons -- none of which you should take personally.

Speaking as someone who paid cash for her own (scaled-back) wedding, the nuptials and festivities are darn expensive. (Yes, even the scaled back ones.) The bride and groom may have budgetary concerns. They may have family issues putting a squeeze on their invites, e.g., Mom said you had to invite Aunt Greta and Uncle Karl and their 10 children, which put the couple over the limit on guests. They may just want to keep it small (ahem) because the thought of greeting 300 people in an evening is just too much, and they want to enjoy their own wedding.

I could go on and on. Perhaps you have bad breath, or the bride's BFF can't stand being around you ever since you called her 30 times in one day after that bad coffee date.

No matter what, the wedding isn't about you, and who the groom and bride invite is none of your business.

And please don't create an uncomfortable situation by asking, "When's my invitation showing up?" or threatening to show at the reception, sans invite.

Special thanks to N. for the inspiration. Best wishes to you!