Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Who's my Target? Pharmacy.

Listen up, prescription-picker-uppers and pharmacy employees of the world: Ever hear of a little thing called privacy? Respect it, okay? The world does not need to hear that Grampa Jones is picking up Viagra.

Click "play" below (or click the title above) to listen. Running time: 5 m 6 s.

Have you ever had a nosy/intrusive pharmacy experience? Tell me in the comments.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Throw the party you can afford

Yeah, I know it's 2010 and things are fucking expensive. Too bad. Hosting a party? No, you can't charge people. I don't care if it's a bridal shower for your best friend Suzy. Asking for cash -- as a gift, a donation, or a cost-defrayment -- is super bad form. And y'know what else? It screams, "I'm classless!"

Click "play" below to listen. Running time: 5 m 33 s.

People, blogs, and podcasts mentioned in this tirade:

Monday, April 19, 2010

Wakes and Money; Concerts and Rudeness

Do I have to give money when I go to a wake or a funeral? (It's nice to.) Why do people even do that? (I'll tell you.) And what about when I go to a standing-room-only concert? Is it okay to bother everyone around me? (No, you jackass.)

Click "play" below to listen and learn. Running time: 5 m 51 s.

Friday, April 16, 2010

On being human, and shutting up

Two things to think about, and one announcement.

  1. Don't make others feel bad about their choices. This means keep your running commentary to yourself. It's okay to have an opinion; when you do it in a way that makes others feel bad, you're an ass.

    Example: An "artist" who hasn't picked up a paintbrush in 10 years attends an art opening. "Why are these people wasting their time? They should just give up," he says to a friend of the artists. Same guy goes to visit a friend with a new home in a "changing" neighborhood. "Why did you move? I liked your old neighborhood better."

    Any seasoned armchair psychologist will tell you this guy is just projecting his feelings about himself. Doesn't make his statements any less rude.

  2. Understand that others are human. The other side of etiquette is letting small slights slide. Notice I said "small." The jerk who cuts you off in traffic. The customer who snaps at you, unprovoked. The arrogant snootypants at the gym who swipes the three towels you were about to take.

    There's grace in letting these things go. We're human, we all have bad days, none of us are perfect. I've been an asshole in traffic, plenty. I've line-jumped in front of people I shouldn'ta. We all do. Especially when we're having a bad day. [WARNING: Sexist comment forthcoming:] Us ladies can be especially nasty, snippy, and unforgiving on some nasty hormonal days.

    Be a little kinder than you need to be today. Someone else will be nice to you on your shitty days.
Have a good weekend, folks. And be nice out there.

News: I'm speaking at Podcasters Across Borders 2010 in June! Check it out...podcasters and non-podcasters of all stripes are welcome. PAB 2010 promises to be fun, educational and inspirational. PAB is full of success stories.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Bathroom Number 2: The Urinal

Guys: do you know what not to do when you use a urinal? Oh, no you don't.

Today's podcast features my friend Sanford who educates us on Four things you should never do in the men's room. How does he know? Personal experience.

Click "play" above to listen. Running time: 6 m 30 s.

Enjoy this educational video, courtesy of babelgum:

And just in case you missed it...Bathroom Number 1.

Friday, April 9, 2010

You can't play on my swingset...without permission

This week we re-visit gym etiquette (hint: wait your fucking turn) and using other people's property without permission (hint: fucking ask first).

Above is a damn-near replica of the swing set my friend caught strangers using. Strangers who, for whatever idiotic reason, thought they could use without permission.

Click below to listen. Running time: 7 m 30 s

Friday, April 2, 2010

Bitchin' about Easter weekend

Visiting a house of worship this weekend? Behave. Don't know how to behave? Ask someone. I'm especially talking to you, you C&Es. And if you do something unusual? Like breastfeed? Yeah, people are gonna stare. Get over it or go to the mother's room.

Click "play" above to listen.
Running time: ~ 4m 30s

Special shout out to The Hollywood Podcast. (Who always behaves.)

Thursday, April 1, 2010

10 Etiquette Tips For Today

Originally posted on

  1. Chew gum, loudly and with your mouth open, during all conversations.
  2. Leave your cell phone ringer turned on to its highest volume, and let the noise fly today! Even better if your ringtone is an obnoxious, tinny-sounding dowloaded song. Everyone loves a crappy-quality version of "Tipsy."
  3. Answer that call -- but only after you've thoroughly annoyed everyone within earshot by letting it go that long -- and speak loudly. Be sure to include ... continue reading

Bitchin' on Outside the Loop

Check it out: Available in perpetuity -- my interview with Mike Stephen @ Outside the Loop Radio.