Monday, April 27, 2009

Two of the stupidest ideas ever...

...showed up in, surprise, my hometown's own Chicago Tribune yesterday. (In case you couldn't detect it in my typing, the "surprise" was sarcastic.)

The Magazine featured a new sort of advice column called "One Burning Question." The question-asker was distraught with a facebook (ah, my favorite) issue: He only likes to use facebook for social acquaintances! Work people keep trying to friend him! Augh! What's one to do?

The Trib's solution: Accept said friend requests, as to "not seem rude," and then un-friend them later.

The second gem of wisdom came in yesterday's Parade magazine, that paragon of info for you Harvard Candidates out there. The sidebar was titled "How to Tell Your Date You Have an STD." I readied myself for something practical, such as having an open, honest discussion. Ah, but I gave too much credit to Parade. How should you tell someone you have an STD? Why, via e-card of course! *

Okay, in both instances, YOU'VE GOT TO EFFING BE KIDDING ME. Let's revisit, shall we, with EB's advice?

1) You're a grown up -- start acting like it -- and click "Ignore" on any friend requests you don't want. Chances are they won't notice, and if they're grown ups, they should accept the fact that not everyone wants to be your "friend" (virtual or otherwise). The Trib's advice paints a scenario whereby the letter writer will later have to fake some facebook knowledge - why, oh why? Who did they hire to write this column -- my 13 year old niece? Crimony.

2) This whole "I gave you an STD" E-card idea is bad, bad, bad all around. Put yourself in the recipient's shoes -- how would you like to receive one of these? The worst part is, the site that generates these, supposedly, doesn't collect personal information, and the cards can be sent anonymously. How many pissed-off, jilted lovers do you think have sent these to their exes, just for a laugh?

When you need to have a serious conversation, the only acceptable way to do it is face to face. Via the phone (no, you can not text) is acceptable only when distance is an issue.

Folks, be an adult. You don't have to accept every flipping facebook request that comes your way. If you have an STD, um, you should probably talk to your partners, rather than hiding behind the internet.

You're a grown up. Now act like it.

*note: EB didn't need said advice in the Parade sidebar, just fyi. How can you not read an article that has "STD" in the title???