Mad props to the polite

I don't know what it was about this holiday weekend, but I do have a theory that all the Rude Asses were sequestered at the fireworks or out of town for the weekend.

Excellent, lovely, wonderful, puts-a-smile-on-my-face good manners I saw this weekend:

• Not one person talked, ate noisy food, texted or took or made a phone call at the 7:30 showing of "Away We Go." Best movie audience ever!*
  
  
• Thirty-something guy walks into cafe. His cell phone rings. He turns, walks out, and takes the call outside!!!! (Thank you, nice patron at Coffee Studio!)
  
  
• Obviously-exhausted mom takes her fussing, freaking-out toddler out of Panera when he can't stop crying at the table. She led him into the foyer to cry it out before they went back in. I smiled at her on my way out. Thank you, polite mom!

Y'all make society a nicer place to be. I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend!


*The movie was also superb. You must go see it. Funny and touching.

Summer etiquette, part 2

As we head into this lovely holiday weekend, let's remember our manners. That means being aware of, and courteous to, those around you.

If you head to the beach, at any time this summer, please:

• Keep your voice down on your cell phone. Voices carry in open air.
  In fact, turn it off or leave the damn thing at home. We're at the beach. Most of us rarely get sun, water, and sand -- just sit back and enjoy it.
  
  
• Teach your kids (and yourself) to be mindful of where others are sitting, and walk a good six inches or more away from others' blankets and towels. Nothing chafes my butt like the sun or some kid who steps right next to me and kicks up sand into my bikini bottom. A simple footstep -- or deliberate kicking -- will do this.
  
  
• Keep your music turned down, too. I know we all have iPods to shut out the world, but if someone else can hear your music from your earbuds, it's too loud. Turn it down, yes, even if it is your iPod.
  

What's the thing to remember, class? "Respect." Yes.

Now go have a nice holiday weekend.

On the phone at the office

Some simple guidelines for using your phone at the office - whether it's the office phone or your cell phone.

Just because you've been around one your whole life doesn't mean you know how to use it properly (ie, not annoy anyone).

When taking calls at work...

• Keep your voice to a respectable level. Not whisper-quiet, but not so loud that we hear you gabbing about Pinella's latest trade 2 cubes over.
  
  
• Keep your cell phone on "vibrate" or on the "soft" setting. No one likes to be hard at work only to be startled by a tinny rendition of "In Da Club."
  
  
• Limit the personal calls. You're on company time, not your own.
  
  
• If you do need to take an involved, personal call on your cell, step into a private area like a conference room. Your co-workers don't need to hear you fighting with your teenage daughter or about your prostate results.
  

Key word: respect. Have respect for those around you, and for the fact that this is a workplace. I shudder when I recall some of the gruesome, TMI conversations I've overheard at work.

Just hangin' out

One of the most grievous offenses in the office is the impromptu meeting that somehow takes place at the admin's desk...and doesn't include, involve, or interest the admin.

(I say "admin" because that seems to be whom these offenses tend to fall upon, but really, this example could be anyone at a desk, in a cubicle farm.)

Here's how it usually goes: Workers A, B, and C somehow find themselves together in a cubicle aisle, realize they need to discuss the all-important TPS Reports, and congregate wherever they happen to be -- which is usually beside or in front of another co-worker's desk. Then they yap for 30 minutes about the cover sheets on the TPS Reports.

Guess what--this disturbs the Desk Dweller (and probably others around her) who need to get work done!

Now, the simple etiquette lesson says that Desk Dweller, who has committed no rudeness of her own, should say, "Excuse me, I need to get some work done. Would you mind taking the conversation elsewhere?"

And it sounds good on paper, but let's add a few real-life factors into the scenario:

Worker A is her boss.
Worker B is her boss's boss.
Worker C is the VP above both of them.

Desk Dweller has been holding her breath for a promotion for the last month, and doesn't want to piss any of them off. She also works in a button-down company where speaking up for yourself will delay that next promotion by a good two years or more.

So, hardly an ideal scenario. The snarky side of me wants to say that Desk Dweller should then get on an imaginary phone call and begin to discuss imaginary rectal exam results with her imaginary doctor.

Best solution: Don't have cubicleside meetings. Yes, I know your company is pressed for space and no one can get a conference room. Grab someone's empty office. Go down to the coffee room. See (actually try and see) if a conference room is free for 10 minutes, and go gab. Go to the cafeteria. Take off and hit Starbucks.

But please let the poor admin and her brethren get some work done.

Remember: a key to good etiquette is to think of others around you. When you demonstrate respect for others, you're demonstrating respect for yourself.

Now get back to work. And finish those TPS reports!

Now onto business...

My head's been stuck around weddings and things we see out and about everyday.

Ah, but most of us still need to go to work five days a week. Or more, given the current economy. So let's talk about how to comport ourselves in the office, shall we?

Notice that there are others around you -- and what you do and say more than likely affects them (just as their actions do you).

Cubicle farms are places where, if anything, etiquette and good manners need to play a starring role more so. Oh, sure, I can forgive the twit who didn't show at my wedding, but the guy who clips his fingernails five feet away from me? Never.

In the office, think about what you're doing and how it may be perceived -- even if you don't agree with the perception.

Offenses against common decency I've witnessed:

• Nail clipping in the office (not the restroom, the office)
  
• Smelly food cooked and eaten at the desk
  
• Loud personal conversations - in person or on the phone
  
• Conversations held while hanging around someone's desk -- someone who is trying to work
  

I'll expand on these and other acts of rudeness as the week progresses. Any workplace rudeness you've witnessed that you want to get of your chest? Tell me in the comments.

Until next time, eat your smelly food in the lunch room.

Mad props to the polite

I absolutely love Menards. As you wander the aisles with that "I have no idea what an aerator is" look on your face, a Menards Associate will usually approach you and offer help.

Assistance is offered up in a friendly manner. If the approacher isn't the person to help you, s/he will walk you over to the expert in the appropriate department. How I wish everyone in real life and corporate America operated this way.

And I gotta say, their associates are so knowledgeable. (Nice change from some of my other shopping experiences.) I actually saw a cheapskate customer trying to talk the plumbing expert down on a kit he needed. She told him where he could buy his parts cheaper, and even gave him directions to the cheaper store. (It was almost comical to watch. You're at flippin Menards -- you're not going to get much cheaper.)

Thank you, Menards folks, who helped me find my sink adapters and paint pads!

Leave the engaged couple alone

More wedding-ish etiquette.

Sigh. It's unfortunate that rude comments and imposed-expectations don't go away once the reception is over. I think I dodged a lot of impolite bullets by eloping. My engaged friends -- who aren't even married yet -- are informing me of the further rude and too-personal comments they're receiving:

• "When are you two having kids?" (None of your business.)
  
  and
  
  
• "You'd better get going right away with a baby -- you're no spring chicken, you know" (Variations on this one: "Your eggs will dry up.")

Let's assume that the questioner is well-intentioned and either genuinely curious, trying to be helpful, or really has nothing more creative to say. The best you, the listener, can do is to rise above it, smile, be evasive ("Hmm, that's on a need to know basis. I'll let you know when you need to know...") then change the subject. ("How about that Crosstown Classic? Wild, huh?")

When someone is impolite, don't go there with him or her.

Summer etiquette

As I sat and tried to enjoy the festivities at last night's free music show, it occurred to me that summer has its own strain of etiquette, especially for those outdoor activities that involve more than one person.

Some "dos" that apply when you're out enjoying the warm weather:

• Throw out your own damn garbage. Don't strew it every which way and expect the city (or passersby) to pick it up. Probably a good idea to take a used plastic grocery bag with you, and collect your own detritus.

• Are you in a public place where others are present? Then please remember that it's not all about you. Keep your voice down; remove obstructive hats; bathe before leaving the house; use deodorant.
  
  
• Follow the rules. Even though it's a public place, chances are if you're in a major city, there's some rule like "No Smoking in This Public Place." Don't try to sneak a ciggy; moreover, don't get pissed off at the security guard who does his job and asks you to stop.
  

The best thing you can bear in mind when out and about is that we're all in this together. Let's make it pleasant for everyone.

Mad props to the polite

Happy Father's Day to Dads everywhere -- especially those who are man enough to take on the role of being a dad (not just a sperm donor).

Okay, on with the goods. Lovely behavior I witnessed this weekend:

• Kids of all ages saying "please" and "thank you."
• People wiping off their mats and equipment at the gym.
  
• Gentlemen allowing ladies to exit first from the elevator.

Mad props to all you wonderful, polite people!

There's someone out there in cyberspace

It blows my mind that when we communicate electronically -- via email, twitter, facebook, comment boards, whatever -- we always forget that our words have impact and there's a flippin' person on the other end.

Respect, decency, kindness and manners all seem to go out the window when we type away. Sure, the computer is a great place to vent your frustrations. But who has to listen, and who's being impacted (and probably hurt) by your words?

Today the Chicago Tribune posted that Walter Cronkite is in ill health and likely near death. The comment boards brought out the worst in people. The comments ranged from "I thought he was already dead," to "What a liberal commie. He started the liberal bias in media."

Okay, now think for a minute if your grandma or grandpa [or insert loving relative here] were dying and anonymous people said this about your loved one. Hurts, don't it?

And never forget: Do not (ever!) post or email in anger! The most mean-spirited email I ever got contained the two gems below:

"[You are] not a priority for me as I am 9 months pregnant and I don't need the aggravation of you demanding answers or being aggravated at all. It just goes to show how self centered you are and have no regard for anyone that lives a different life than you."

and

"your wedding was not pleasant on any level."

Ouch!

Now, trust me, EB considered the source, who, quite honestly, I can't say anything good about. But know that someone is on the receiving end. In the digital age, we tend to forget that there's a person out there reading our words.

Write -- stop -- re-read and then ask yourself: is this really worth sending? Who will it impact, and how?

Look forward to seeing you Sunday with some mad props. A polite email, perhaps?