Monday, April 14, 2008

Rule #1 for Rude Hosts

Okay folks, listen up. Time to behave when you throw a party.

Today I'm starting with hosts. Don't worry, I'll butcher the rude guests in later posts.

Lesson #1 -- for all occasions -- do not ask for money. EVER. It's rude, it's uncouth, and it makes your event feel like a shakedown, not a celebration.

I don't care if you're getting married, you're both over 30, and "have everything you need."
Too bad. It's rude to ask for money -- any time, any reason. And don't even get me started on those stupid "dollar dances," wherein guests must pay for the "privilege" of dancing with the bride (or groom. I hear they can go either way).

And no, by cloaking your request in a "sweet little poem" does not make it any less rude. I was appalled to stumble upon a website offering "cute, polite ways to ask for money." The most offensive one I saw included the lines, "please do not take us wrong/..../please play along." Boy, asking your guests to "play along" with your childish whims -- that's a good one! Hoo-doggie!

I don't care if you threw a lavish party and "it was really expensive." Host the party you can afford, cheapskate. Or host a potluck.

Similarly, it is rude to ask for gifts -- or ask for specific gifts. Recently, Etiquette Bitch was invited to a baby shower with this directive on the invite: "No Baby Clothes!" Gee, I was about to spend time, energy and money on this joyous occasion, and you have the gall to tell me how to spend my money? Uh-uh, sister.

Have you ever been shaken down by a host? Any rude requests, or manners questions you have for me? Email me: