Who's encouraging the assholes of tomorrow?

Verizon Wireless and Motorola, that's who.

These moronic companies currently have an ad running featuring teens. Each teen has a blurb of text over his or her image, telling how they text. The very first one?

"I text through the movie."

Okay, jerks -- and this includes you verizon and motorola -- cell phones and PDAs now have super-bright screens that emit a ton of lumens. Translation? Even if you hit one button to check the time during the film, you're bothering everyone within a 50-foot radius.

Cell phones - the lights, the noises, the rings, and you talking - are a DISTRACTION at any public theater venue. So if you go to see a movie, a quiet-ish concert, a play, the opera, the symphony -- shut the damn thing off.

Do you have kids? Please teach them to turn off their cell phones when out at social events. Also teach them when it is rude to use the phone -- and when it's time to put it away. Guess what? The world will keep spinning for an hour or two, and your friends won't die because they didn't get an immediate response from you.

Let's start demonstrating respect for others around us by not disturbing them -- least of all when they've just paid $20 admission and $15 for food for an enjoyable (not annoying) night out.

And the dumbest "teen" in this ad? "I text between the sheets." I hope to god they mean when he's beating off.

Read more on the dangers of texting here.

Bk 2 wrk - txtng @ dsk = bad

Yes, I know, you're just sending a quick message to T-Bone. And Sherri needs to know what color nail polish you're wearing to the cocktail party on Friday. Such matters are pressing, and the world will stop spinning if you don't respond within 30 seconds.

But employees of the world, put down those cell phones/Crackberries/Treos -- whatever you're texting on -- between 9 and 5 (or whatever your work hours are. This includes you, Walgreen's cashiers and Jewel Deli Workers).

My good friend Manager X related his story of the week: "I had to talk to two of my employees about their texting at work -- because whenever I passed their desks -- and I mean every time -- there they were--" [makes gesture of head bent over a crackberry, typing away with thumbs.]

"How'd they take it?" I asked.

"One was polite, and promised it won't happen again. The other said, 'But I-- It was just this once!!' and I reminded him that, no, it wasn't 'just this once.' He was upset, but I need him to do his job--not talk to his friends all day."

You're being paid to work, think, and solve problems. During the workday, your personal communication device needs to be stashed away. Text on your personal time -- at lunch, or if you step outside for a break. I promise you that T-Bone and Sherri can wait to hear from you, and the world will keep spinning.

Oh, and outside of work? No texting while driving, either. It's dangerous, and you're holding up the 3,000 people behind you. I've seen it.

A version of this article originally appeared in the Chicago Examiner.

Texing in the present

Nothing chafes my hide as much as someone texting. I've been racking my brain, trying to think of an example of when text-messaging is polite, and, in truth, unless you're by yourself, with no one around (or possibly on public transportation), then it's okay to text.

Yes, I realize it's quick. Yes, I know it takes you "just a minute."

But when you're spending time with the words on the phone, you're ignoring those around you. This is called "not being present" or "not being in the moment," or just plain "rude."

Yes, I know you are physically there. But once you take your attention away from whatever is happening before you -- to take a cell phone call, to text, to check the sports scores -- you've just taken yourself away from the people and doings in front of you.

And an important life rule to remember is that the person in front of you is always more important than the person (or sports score) on the phone. Any successful sales person knows this -- now, let's all know this. And let's live it.

I'm sorry, why did you come to this club again?

Have you seen that stupid cell phone commercial where some guy is sleeping, or at a diner, and even though he's otherwise occupied, his hand mechanically finds a nearby electronic device and starts typing at warp speed?

Unfortunately, sadly, this commercial isn't that far off the mark. People, just because we can be connected 24/7, doesn't mean we should be.

It's healthy to have some down time or quiet time. It's good--and polite -- to shut off the electronics, especially at certain times. It's good to be present.

Saturday night, I went to The Green Mill for an awesome jazz show by the Moutin Quartet. (highly recommended-they rock.)

The Green Mill gets mad props from the Etiquette Bitch. Upon paying your cover, Bouncer Big Al tells you, "Turn your phone off and keep your voice down." YES! (fist pump into air! Why don't all concert venues do this?)

If you do yak too loudly during a set, a manager will come over and ask you to be quiet.

Now, onto the guys who didn't understand the "turn off your phone" part: Just before the second set, three large men in Cubs jerseys, fresh from the Cubs-Sox game, sat behind me, ordering copious drinks. As the band played, two of the Cubs Fans would not stop texting. They had those phones -- iphones or whatever -- that are all bright screen, so the effect was that of having 20 fireflies behind me. Annoying? Distracting? Yes and yes.

When you go to a show, why did you go? To see the act, or to behave like a moron and text your friends? Hell, Cubs Fan could've saved himself $12 (plus drinks) by just staying outside, typing away in the evening air. If you want entertainment while texting, then plug in your earbuds, genius, and use the little TV or itunes feature, and stay out of a club.

Plus, putting technology away -- whether you're at a bar, restaurant, theater, concert, or even a diner with friends -- is the polite thing to do. Be present with the person(s) you are with. Enjoy your friends' company. Enjoy the music. Enjoy sitting at the bar, seeing a movie, or a play. Hell, enjoy sleeping.

But don't enjoy your cell phone every waking minute. Turn it off for an hour or two. I promise you, the world will continue to turn, and, chances are, you won't miss anything important.