Who's encouraging the assholes of tomorrow?

Verizon Wireless and Motorola, that's who.

These moronic companies currently have an ad running featuring teens. Each teen has a blurb of text over his or her image, telling how they text. The very first one?

"I text through the movie."

Okay, jerks -- and this includes you verizon and motorola -- cell phones and PDAs now have super-bright screens that emit a ton of lumens. Translation? Even if you hit one button to check the time during the film, you're bothering everyone within a 50-foot radius.

Cell phones - the lights, the noises, the rings, and you talking - are a DISTRACTION at any public theater venue. So if you go to see a movie, a quiet-ish concert, a play, the opera, the symphony -- shut the damn thing off.

Do you have kids? Please teach them to turn off their cell phones when out at social events. Also teach them when it is rude to use the phone -- and when it's time to put it away. Guess what? The world will keep spinning for an hour or two, and your friends won't die because they didn't get an immediate response from you.

Let's start demonstrating respect for others around us by not disturbing them -- least of all when they've just paid $20 admission and $15 for food for an enjoyable (not annoying) night out.

And the dumbest "teen" in this ad? "I text between the sheets." I hope to god they mean when he's beating off.

Read more on the dangers of texting here.

Bk 2 wrk - txtng @ dsk = bad

Yes, I know, you're just sending a quick message to T-Bone. And Sherri needs to know what color nail polish you're wearing to the cocktail party on Friday. Such matters are pressing, and the world will stop spinning if you don't respond within 30 seconds.

But employees of the world, put down those cell phones/Crackberries/Treos -- whatever you're texting on -- between 9 and 5 (or whatever your work hours are. This includes you, Walgreen's cashiers and Jewel Deli Workers).

My good friend Manager X related his story of the week: "I had to talk to two of my employees about their texting at work -- because whenever I passed their desks -- and I mean every time -- there they were--" [makes gesture of head bent over a crackberry, typing away with thumbs.]

"How'd they take it?" I asked.

"One was polite, and promised it won't happen again. The other said, 'But I-- It was just this once!!' and I reminded him that, no, it wasn't 'just this once.' He was upset, but I need him to do his job--not talk to his friends all day."

You're being paid to work, think, and solve problems. During the workday, your personal communication device needs to be stashed away. Text on your personal time -- at lunch, or if you step outside for a break. I promise you that T-Bone and Sherri can wait to hear from you, and the world will keep spinning.

Oh, and outside of work? No texting while driving, either. It's dangerous, and you're holding up the 3,000 people behind you. I've seen it.

A version of this article originally appeared in the Chicago Examiner.

Email and Text Never Die.

File this one under a "business" and "personal" etiquette lesson:

1. Watch what you say in electronic communication.

2. If you have something important to communicate (such as "You're fired," "You piss me off," "No, I'm not giving you your money," "I'm dumping you," etc.) do it in person -- not via email or text.

Emails and text messages can and will come back to haunt you. From an etiquette perspective, communicating important or (worse yet) hurtful or angry messages via electronic media is just downright disrespectful. There is a person on the receiving end.

It's appalling that there have been firings and breakups via text message.

And, leaving good manners out of it for a minute, should the receiver ever need to circle back to you, say, in court, you wouldn't want these nasty missives shown to the judge, now would you? This happens all the time on The People's Court and the myriad court shows out there.

Now, for those of you who have some sort of legal bent, such as, "at my job we have to document everything," that's fine, as long as it's done professionally and without attack. But those personal messages? Communicate in person.

I once received a nasty email telling me how "miserable every aspect" of my wedding was, and how the letter-sender "was sorry she had to sit through it." Don't worry, EB has never forgotten this person -- and will never extend kindness to her, either. And yep, the email still exists.

So, today's lesson:

1. When you have something important to communicate, do it in person.
2. If you must document your communication, be polite and leave the negativity out of it.
3. Email and text messages never die.

Got it? Good.