Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Some Tips For When Plane Goes Bye-Bye

Special thanks to JR for suggesting today's topic.

As a long-time business traveler, Etiquette Bitch has some tips for airline travel. If implemented, these suggestions will keep you from pissing off your fellow passengers, and make for a smoother, friendlier ride for everyone. These guidelines apply 24/7/365; ie, they are not seasonal.

  1. Cover your mouth. When you're on a plane, you're sharing trapped, recirculated air with 200 other people. Sneeze? Cough? Cover your mouth. (best way: sneeze or cough into your elbow. I know, you don't want your germs on your precious hands) Your fellow travelers don't want your effing germs. We have clients and families to visit; please don't spread your sickness.

  2. Even if you think "it's nothing" or "I just have allergies," cover your damn mouth.

  3. Teach your children to do #1 and #2.

  4. No taking off your shoes. We don't care if your feet swell or it's more comfortable. Cover your feet. We don't need (nor want to) smell your podiatric aroma. If you must, then please please for the love of god carry a pair of slipper socks with you and use 'em.

    And for the love of god, please don't do this while waiting :

    Yecch. We don't want to smell your feet on the airplane, or in the terminal, stinky.

One time, sitting in my usual aisle seat, the guy behind me not only took off his shoes, but then put his foot up on my armrest. I had to do a few bumps and comments to get him to move his feet. Disgusting. Funnier still, when a business writer asked me for stories of yucky air travel, I shared the above with her. Her email came back, "Oh, well, I've done that before." Yeah, I guess that's 'cause you're a rude bitch.

Any other travel rudeness you've experienced? Email me: etiquetteb@gmail.com