How many of you are still going to the gym?

Raise your hand if you've been a good girl or boy and kept your New Year's Resolution. You know, the one about working out/running/hitting the gym/doing Couch Potato Pilates every week.

Don't worry, I won't tell if you haven't kept up. We all slack off or make commitments we don't really mean, anyway. (see: the divorce rate in this country.)

But if you are going to the gym, yoga, whatever, please continue to (because you already do, right?) be mindful of others around you.

• Bathe, or at least wipe up, your private parts and pits before you go. Sweating is one thing. Reeking like a bathroom garbage can is another.
  
• Deodorant wouldn't kill you, either.
  
• Men: Keep that shirt on. Ladies: you, too. Men: No disagreeing with me on that last one.

And of course all the other rules I've bitched about apply.

Let's not get all, "But I want to..." with the excuses and reasoning. That's the problem with society -- we've forgotten how to be considerate of one another and have put our "I want" or "My kids want" whining ahead of respect for others around us.

In the privacy of your own home? Do whatever the fuck you want.

At the gym

Sigh. It's that most frustrating time of year again -- the time when all the "New Years Resolutioners" come out of the woodwork and clog up the gyms.

But I'm not so sure it's the Resolutioners I have a beef with. It's any rude person at the gym.

Do you attend a gym or health club? If so, please read below. Yes, this is for you.

Good guidelines for the gym

• Does your health club provide towel service? Yes? Please use one.
  
  
• If you are naked in the locker room and must sit down, put one of those effing towels down FIRST before placing your naked ass on the seat. Your rump-hole is filled with bacteria, and I'm sure most of us would rather not encounter yours.
  
  
• Do not enter any workout class late. Ever. Yes, real life happens, but late arrivals disrupt the class and cause a distraction. Yes, I know you really wanted to attend Yoga for Rudeasses, but walking in late -- even five minutes late-- is a massive disruption. Don't. Just walk your big ass over to a treadmill or the elliptical, and spend the next hour there. Those of us in deep meditation thank you.
  
  
• Besides, you should be arriving early for class to change your shoes, warm up, etcetera.
  
  
• Leave your fucking cell phone in a locker. Nothing's more annoying than someone yapping about his job while you're trying to get some fitness in. Not to mention: talk on your cell while exercising, and you've just killed the effectiveness of what little exercise you're getting.
  
  
• Taking yoga? Shut the fuck up. It escapes me why two people -- men and women alike -- find the need to set up for yoga, and then sit on their mats and talk until class starts. Look around at the start of a yoga class -- people are breathing, meditating, centering themselves. You're wrecking that, Mr. or Ms. Talker. Now shut up and breathe.

I fully expect to see good behavior in action at my gym from now on. If I can actually attend a class without some rude-ass entering late (and the teacher allowing it), I'll know y'all listened.