Can you bear to hear me carp about cell phones again?

This one is a bother to everyone within a 5-foot radius:

When you go shopping, whether it's at the grocery store, Target, Kmart, Macy's, the local general store, please look around and note that you are in a store and not a f***king phone booth.

Every time I run errands, there's some dunce either wandering aimlessly among the aisles, blathering away, usually about some interesting-only-to-them personal problem; or some other dunce who walks in yapping on the phone, s/he grabs a cart, and then parks it right in front of the very item I need.

Both are irritating, especially when, as is usually the case, the yapper is loud, and doesn't really care if innocent bystanders have to hear about how her emotionally stunted boyfriend can't commit.

In a store? Here's a novel idea: stash the phone and shop.


* please note that there's nothing wrong with taking a quick call in the store -- sometimes you're needed. But a half-hour blather fest that really should be at home with a glass of wine? Not in the store.

Talking on Your Cell Phone...in public

You don't need to make cell phone calls when you're at the bank, on the el, in the grocery store, at Borders, at Barnes & Noble, the gym, driving your car, etc.

And, should you subject the rest of the world to your cell phone conversations, KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.

Just because we can talk anywhere, anytime, doesn't mean we should. Unfortunately, most of the world doesn't get this.

If I hear you yapping at Borders about how you've just "stopped doing the comedy stuff, and now I'm here picking this stuff up for Sarah, yeah, she was offered two teaching positions, one at the Latin School, and one at that other school that was S-O-L" you betcha I'm going to chime in with my two cents and add to your conversation.

Ditto if you're yapping loudly at Barnes and Noble about your latest business deal.

Both offenders were young white males, late 20s -early 30s. Listen Generation Y, the world does not revolve around you, and we don't give a flying fuck about what job Sarah got or how the offer they made you was over the top.

Shut the fuck up. Keep your voice down when you're cell-yapping in public, or -- here's a lovely idea-- don't come into the store at all.

Unless it's urgent, when you get a phone call when you're out and about, tell the caller, softly, "I'm in the store, can I call you back?"

And then do so.

The world thanks you.