Ravinia fist fight over rudeness

Okay, finally, some comic relief from that boring wet noodle from Alaska:

Ravinia Festival turf war, food fight hospitalizes Arlington Heights man, cops say

By Bob Channick |Special to the Chicago Tribune

12:36 PM CDT, September 4, 2008

A dispute over lawn space erupted into a turf war that sent one man to the hospital before a sold-out Donna Summer concert Saturday at the Ravinia Festival in Highland Park, police said.

After setting up their blankets, chairs and a tarp, a group of concertgoers from Arlington Heights left for a restaurant. Returning an hour later, they found their belongings displaced by a Chicago group, which they confronted.

A woman in the Chicago group tried to attack a woman from the returning group, police said. A 40-year-old Chicago man then punched a 49-year-old Arlington Heights man, prompting a wine-and-cheese splattering melee, police said.

The Arlington Heights man was taken by ambulance to Highland Park Hospital, where he received 15 stitches, while the Chicago man was charged with battery.

I have to agree with many of the Trib's comment-posters; to "set up shop" at a festival and leave is rude. "Move your meat, lose your seat" as one poster put it. Yes, I know in a perfect world we can claim a front-row seat at the Free Andrew Bird concert or any outdoor fest; dine at a 4-star restaurant and then return to find our seat unscathed. Sadly, this is not the reality. Either bring your dinner with you, or wait until your later arrival time to claim your seat.

Personally, I'm snickering a little that a fight broke out at Ravinia. I've wanted to pop the cell-phone yakkers there myself.

Good Manners on the CTA

I get asked all the time to post about the rude-asses who ride public transport, and, believe me, one day they'll get their verbal lashing here.

Today, though, I want to point out some good manners I witnessed last night on the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority, for the non-Chicagoans).

Around 10-10:30 pm my date and I crammed onto the super-crowded 151 bus heading north.

A gentleman in a white polo, carrying a "Classic Cars" magazine offered me his seat, and I gladly accepted. I thanked him twice. So mad props to that kind stranger.

Most of you CTA riders could take a tip from that kind man.

What to Wear to A Wedding

Three years ago, at my own wedding, I was appalled at what some people wore. One woman showed up in a skin-tight, crotch-high minidress; another showed up in a ratty dress from the early 90s (it was faded; she looked pretty horrid, like she just rolled out of bed); and another wore thigh-high come-fuck-me boots.

People, you're at a wedding. Decorum is called for. Our wedding was no princess wedding. It was held at a reception hall, and yet a select few felt it okay to look like they were trolling for sex at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night.

No matter how "casual" the wedding, please show your respect when you dress. Your clothes are one way -- a very loud way, if you will -- you communicate your respect - or lack of it - for the people and places you encounter.

Yahoo has a pretty interesting article on 9 Things You Should Never Wear to a Wedding. Many comment-posters made some stupid comments: "These are basic things that people know." "These are obvious; people already know this." Uh, no, folks, unfortunately, they don't.

What killed me about my guests was they knew better: I've attended weddings with all 3 of these offenders, where they dressed well. Why did they dress like shit for my wedding? My guess is they don't respect the Bitch.

Thank You, Swingtown (Janet)

Ah, how I love Swingtown. Janet easily had the best quote this week: "Some people need to be reminded of their manners."

Yes, Janet, some people do need to be reminded of their manners. Thank you.

(Please enjoy Janet's sparky personality via the clip below. The clip of her snipping at a Male Chauvinist Pig [and reminding him of his manners] is not yet available)


Watch CBS Videos Online

On "thank you," and asking for a sandwich

This week's earlier post about rudeness on the best show ever ("Swingtown") inspired a reader to call me and vent about her pet peeve: rudeness in commercials.

Yes, caller, I have to agree with you.

First off, commercials these days just flat-out suck. They're not creative or engaging, and they're violent and stupid. No wonder kids are desensitized to violence -- it's being shown to them as a given in 30-second increments. Example: a woman is pissed off at her boyfriend, so she shoves his truck down the side of a mountain.

What kills me is these moronic pieces of mini-film making give a "warning" in 2-pt font white text on the screen (in a spot where no one looks) that says, "do not attempt." Many advertisers need to be shot.

Okay, back to my point: my caller hates the commercial where a kid walks into a kitchen and says, "Hey Mom, how about a sandwich?" and 10 seconds later, his rude-ass dad does the exact same thing.

People, the correct phrasing is: "Mom, could I please have a sandwich?" or "May I have a sandwich, please?"

It's called asking politely, folks. "Please" and "thank you" go a long way in this world.

And I'm happy to say, after viewing many of these mind-numbingly stupid commercials, I can't even tell you the brand or product they are pushing.

Thank You, Swingtown

Why does no one on TV -- even in shows that are set in politer times -- ever say "thank you"?

When someone does you a courtesy, the proper response is, "Thank you."

On last week's Swingtown (arguably the best show this summer, probably this year), Tom the Swingin' Neighbor helps Susan load supplies into a car. Mind you, Tom is not going on this trip; he's just lending a helping hand. The scene plays out thusly:

TOM:
I'll load these into the car. (Picks up bags)

SUSAN:
(weak smile)

Really, Susan, you're that deserving of help that you can't thank the guy that helped you?

Yes, I realize I'm getting spun up about fictional characters. But this is how much I love good manners -- that when an effing fake character overlooks them, I get upset.

I've seen episodes of ER in which the doctor will tell a patient something like, "I removed the bullet and stitched up your chest; you'll be able to make it to the prom by 7 pm," to only receive a quiet nod in response.

You know, I've spent weeks in the hospital with ill loved ones, and here's how the conversation usually goes:

DOCTOR
We've reviewed the lab results--

ME
Thank you, doctor!

DOCTOR
--and everything seems to be normal--

ME
Thank you!

DOCTOR
--so we just want to keep her here for another two hours--

ME
Thank you!!!!

DOCTOR
--for observation.

ME
Thank you, Doctor. We appreciate your help so much.

And while my tirade against my favorite show may seem silly, I'm sad to report that crap extends to every day.

Raise your hand if you've ever been asked for the time, and after checking your watch and telling the stranger before you the current time, s/he walks off with nary a kind word.

Yeah, I thought so.

When someone lets you into traffic, say "thank you." (polite wave of the hand)
When someone does anything kind for you -- no matter where you are -- say "thank you."

I know of a certain office worker who has demanded help on his late night projects. (demanded. not "asked for.") He never once thanked those who helped him--and, surprise surprise--no one ever stays late to help him anymore.

Back to Swingtown: Later in the same episode, Susan does another pet peeve of mine: she hangs up the phone without saying "goodbye."

Believe it or not, I do have hobbies. blogging about and blasting rude-asses is one of them.

Thank you for reading. Good-bye.


Swingtown PS: Anyone besides me think Laurie needs to be smacked into next week? Tell me in the comments.

Wedding Tips for Brides

Hey Brides, Grooms, Mothers-of-the-Brides, Maids of Honors, etc. --

To Anyone Who is throwing a wedding, paying for a wedding, hosting a shower, reception, etc.:

1. It is rude to ask for cash -- in any form, in any way, for any occassion (bridal, baby, engagement, graduation--anything).
   
   Written, verbal, on the invite, in an email--it is rude. Don't do it. Not even in a stupid cutesy poem.
   
   
2. It is crass to register for a honeymoon or new house --don't ask your guests to pay for your home or vacation. Rude, rude, rude.
   
• Registering for gifts is allowable. Technically, you're not supposed to put "Janie is registered at ____" on the invite. That said, so many people prefer knowing of a registry these days, so include a separate slip of paper listing the registry in the invite.
  

Common Sense, Some Good Manners

Random thoughts I hope you all put into practice:

1. Again, don't eat unpaid-for food in the grocery store. It's not your food yet, you're spreading germs, and just plain uncouth.

The free samples that the store distributes are fair game.

2. When you need to get past someone, say, "Excuse me." Do not just stand in front of them, or muster past, or physically touch or bump them. It's rude.

3. Road rage or parking rage is bad. And not worth it.

Twice last week, I saw one person who was waiting for "his" parking spot stop the car, get out and yell at the other driver who "stole" his spot. It was almost comical, really, for the passersby witnessing: Pissed-off guy was yelling at the woman who parked, "You're the devil! Bad things are going to happen to you because you're the devil!"

I can't imagine, however, it was too nice for her. (I've been on the receiving end of such a maniac, and it's actually a scary place to be.) When someone "wrongs" you in traffic, let it the fuck go. It's never worth it. You're getting upset over a parking spot? Or whatever, traffic-related? You're health, sanity, and psychic energy just are not worth all the rage and wasted energy it will cause you.

What was unbelievable about the Pissed Off Guy was he spent five minutes minimum (I watched) yelling at this poor woman, and, honestly, she was in the right. When you "wait" for a parking spot, the correct way to "claim" it (little that you can): you wait behind the car that's leaving, not in front of it, as this guy had done. He was wrong; she was right.

After yelling at "devil woman" for 5 minutes, and scaring her into leaving, Mr. Pissed Off Asshole parked in the spot for all of 60 seconds: he ran in to the dry cleaners, got his shirt, and left. Really? You couldn't have illegally parked for 60 seconds, Mr. Asshole?

Entering and Exiting a Restaurant

Chicago doesn't have year-round lovely weather, so it's a treat for us Windy Citiers to dine out at one of those lovely places with open french doors during the summer.

Now, let's make a key distinction here: french doors are actually more like big windows that happen to swing open when weather permits.

A door is the opening through which you enter and exit a room, house, or place of business.

When it's time to leave, lovely people, exit through the second one. How did you enter the restaurant? My guess is you didn't climb through the french doors, disturbing the nice people eating nearby. Exit through the regular door, same as you came in, and don't disturb the nice folks enjoying their meals.

To walk to the front of the restaurant, cut through tables, and then step out through the french doors is plain boorish and rude. Don't do it.

Traveling Etiquette

Don't leave your manners at home when you travel.

I just had a lovely week in Seattle, and witnessed a few breaches of etiquette. Ahem:

1) Airline passengers littering the seats, floor, and everything in their radius with their detritus.

I realize that we're all mad at the airlines these days, but leaving a mess in your spot is: a) gross, b) disrespectful , and c) it looks disgusting. As I passed the vacated seats and saw black things (I have no idea what they were-- wrappers? food?) all over the floor and seats, along with various wrappers, crumbs, cheerios, water bottles, etc., all I could envision was the trashy people sitting in those seats. Yecch.

Keep it tidy, folks. You don't want others thinking you're trash, or the flight attendants calling you trash, now do you?

2) A nearly-screwed-then-helped passenger who couldn't say "thank you."

Waiting in security, a befuddled Auntie approached the guy who checks your ID, and proclaimed, "I've lost my driver's license!" An airport employee in uniform heard her, reached over and handed her her license; apparently, she dropped it on the floor. "Thanks," she said to the Airport Guy. "Don't thank me," he said, "thank this guy (points to regular man standing in TSA line). He's the one who found it and turned it in."

Regular guy waves at Auntie.

"Oh," she says.

Uh, jerko, the appropriate response here is: "Thank you, kind sir!" Hell, you don't even need the "kind sir." A simple "thanks" to the man who turned in your license, that thing without which you would be fucked, would do. Nope, she didn't say a word, just, "Oh."

When someone does something nice for you, fucking thank them.

And the rudest thing that happened on vacation:

Asshole Businessman Taking Up the Entire Business Center who popped off after I asked, "Excuse me, sir, do you have any idea how long you'll be on?" He bitched back with, "Uh, yeah, til I'm done," then proceeded to ask bitchy, sarcastic questions like, "Why, did I just ruin your week?" Bitchyman then told my husband to "control me," (ha! like you can control the Etiquette Bitch!), told me I was rude for asking how long he would use the computer (ha!) and then threatened my husband with bodily harm.

We left the hotel for much sweeter confines.

People, when staying at a hotel, since hotels these days provide 1 computer for about 200 people, it's not uncommon for someone to say, "Excuse me, do you have any idea how long you'll be?" Guess what -- it's not rude for them to ask. They're being courteous, and, probably like me, they're thinking they'll go do something else for an hour and leave you alone.