But I'm not so sure it's the Resolutioners I have a beef with. It's any rude person at the gym.
Do you attend a gym or health club? If so, please read below. Yes, this is for you.
Good guidelines for the gym
- Does your health club provide towel service? Yes? Please use one.
- If you are naked in the locker room and must sit down, put one of those effing towels down FIRST before placing your naked ass on the seat. Your rump-hole is filled with bacteria, and I'm sure most of us would rather not encounter yours.
- Do not enter any workout class late. Ever. Yes, real life happens, but late arrivals disrupt the class and cause a distraction. Yes, I know you really wanted to attend Yoga for Rudeasses, but walking in late -- even five minutes late-- is a massive disruption. Don't. Just walk your big ass over to a treadmill or the elliptical, and spend the next hour there. Those of us in deep meditation thank you.
- Besides, you should be arriving early for class to change your shoes, warm up, etcetera.
- Leave your fucking cell phone in a locker. Nothing's more annoying than someone yapping about his job while you're trying to get some fitness in. Not to mention: talk on your cell while exercising, and you've just killed the effectiveness of what little exercise you're getting.
- Taking yoga? Shut the fuck up. It escapes me why two people -- men and women alike -- find the need to set up for yoga, and then sit on their mats and talk until class starts. Look around at the start of a yoga class -- people are breathing, meditating, centering themselves. You're wrecking that, Mr. or Ms. Talker. Now shut up and breathe.
I fully expect to see good behavior in action at my gym from now on. If I can actually attend a class without some rude-ass entering late (and the teacher allowing it), I'll know y'all listened.